My Time.

The time that I get to sit by myself and enjoy a cup of coffee (no milk, no sugar.. just black.. like i like my me... just kidding... I don't like my men that way.. haha)is some of the best moments of my day. Just moments before my husband wakes up and joins me with that smiling, boyish face that I love so much.. but for now.. these moments are mine.

Not a lot is different from the rest of my day-- it's just a little more special.

Lately, I have been fantasizing about my 1st home that I'll buy some day.. Never thought I'd dream of a white picket fence but it's totally there. Mulch, shrubbery, foliage, beautiful flowers. I want a fountain with a stream and fish.. (THAT RACCOONS WILL NOT EAT! .. Danny and I were talking about this the other day and he said, "well yeah, until the raccoons eat of your fish.." HHAHAHA.. i was like... NOOOO MY HYPOTHETICAL FISH JUST GOT EATEN!!)

but we are in work right now to see if we can get preapproved.. I'm excited to go house shopping and spending weekends at Lowe's... oh man.. talk about a hot date... home improvement stores are the hottest kind of date... a long way to go still.. but for now.. I am enjoying my coffee.. sitting on the couch... watching whatever i want to watch.. planning the events of my day.. what should i do? I want to go to the gym, have to go to best buy, have to go to the apple store, want to get my nails done.. have to remember to eat right.. my German teacher from high school and I are trying to kick start a clean eating routine.. i did pretty great yesterday.. until I had 2 glasses of wine and a cookie.. oh yeah.. and this awesome sauce that i made to dip my artichoke in :( whoops.. I really have to control those little splurges that i engulf myself in...

Yut for now. off to start my day.. 1st things 1st.. wake up my bayyyyboooozeeee... ;)

OH MAN! I LOST IT!

It's been a LONG time since I have written anything, and I was feeling motivated and inspired.. Then I opened up blogger.com and I lost it all. Maybe that's a sign. I shouldn't blog. BAH! I say... I do what I want.. actually, Whitfield use'd to say that.. I dont. I just say, "meh." I say Meh a lot.. it signifies this feeling of.. I don't really care.. But the truth is, I do care.. and the shrug of my shoulders, the slight exhale and the sound that leaves my mouth... like.. "meeeh" is just a mask for me actually caring... but not having the energy to put forth and do anything.

So. Meh. I am going to write anyway. is the concept of a personal, public blog- self centered? Who am I to assume that you all are just dying to know what I am thinking about.. or what I have been up to. I think I may right a book someday.. about my life.. now, that's the ultimate vain thought.. not only am I under the impression that you really are interested in my random ass thoughts, but NOW.. i am going to make you pay $21.95 to read my thoughts.. HAHAHA.... THIS is a great idea.

I have been nominated for a nice award in the Marine Corps.. there is a very tiny to slim to none chance of getting this.. and that's okay.. it'll be a good thought after its all said and done.. but the conversation boils down to.. is my vagina the only reason why I would be getting nominated? "Being fun and bubbly is getting me this nomination...." (someone said this to me recently...) and it pisses me off.. because there is truth to that. No, I do not think that that is the reason.. but it just goes to show that if I work really really hard in the Corps.. there will always be an underlying factor that I am a cute bubbly girl, which gives me attention, so i will get "special" privileges.. you can bitch an moan all you want about how, "WELL DON'T USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!!"... And i could yell back till i was blue in the face and say , " I'M NOT!! IM REALLY TRYING HARD TO BE OUTSTANDING, AND DO EVERYTHING THEY ASK OF ME, AND THEN SOME! I WANT TO TRAIN, AND LEAD, AND DEVELOP JUNIOR MARINES TO BE OUTSTANDING! I WANT TO TEACH THEM OUT TO LEAVE A LEGACY OF BRILLIANCE.. I WANT TO SHARE THE LOVE... the love that burns so deep through my veins.. the passion for this screwed up institution.. I want to do everything I can to do a good job!!!!" but at the end of the day.. treatment will be different... and no matter the black and white... fellow Marines will look at me for just those reasons, " oh, shes a cute girl... that's why she's got it..." well this is what i have to say to you... "very well."

I'm actually not going to get upset by it, because I would be a fool to think that that's not true. Just like God made man and woman different, I know that woman will be treated differently then men. The defining line is if you use it to your advantage or not... Do you use the power of the vagina to get what you want? And at the end of the day, when you lay your greasy little face on your filthy pillow.. smudged in too tan foundation and mascara marks... and you feel confident in the abilities of yourself that you are not taking advantage of the system.. that's all what matter.

on that note.. I feel like.... if I was a 300 PFTer.. and I could run 3 miles in 24 minutes.. I would have the key to success in the Marine Corps.. honestly.. in my mind, when i think if the Corps.. that's the tool to infinite success. I can do what you ask, I will ask if I can not do.. I will follow up if I don't understand, and I will seek continuous guidance and room for improvement, while trying to pass on what I've been taught to my juniors... but if I can't run.. then I have nothing. I feel like running right now. I might just do that.. right after i get done watching America's Cutest Kittens.. THE BEST PART OF MY SATURDAY MORNINGS! ... I often find myself home alone saturday mornings.. and this show is ALWAYS on.. makes me soooooo happy.. Okay.. for today.. I am going to get off the couch... put away my laundry.. maybe start another load.. work on my marketing presentation final.. finish an assignment that was due last night.. THAT I ALWAYS FORGET TO DO ON FRIDAY NIGHts! ... start an finish my homework in my retail buying class... maybe watch a little bit more of cutest kittens.. (oh man, it would be so rad if my little whore of a cat was pregnant right now! KITTENS IN MY HOME!!!)... and then maybe go for a little run, just for fun... I need to find that for a sticker of my car..I want it to say.. "Little PT... good for you... good for me...?"

Blogging... I missed you.... I may come back.... but for now.. I have to go pee.