i want to kiss you, but i want it too much, i want to taste you.. but your lips are venomous poison.....

back to the grind...

Jumping in with both feet i feel energized, confident, determined, and motivated! my music runs thru my veins, rushes my blood and its making me feel like I'm a million dollars... pulling motivation from my peers keeps the ultimate goal in full focus.. the only thing i have to really concentrate on is keeping my eye on the prize... This summer has brought lots of changes... I just spent 30 days back in the Corps... even though it was just student status- it was just what I needed to get a grasp of what I want... I just registered for fall qtr.. i am a little nervous of how busy I will be.. but i know that in the end.. it will all be worth it.. from 0630- to 2100 just about every day except sundays i will be in school then work.. if it's worth having in life, it's worth working your ass off for... some day I know I will look back on my life when i am an old woman and i will smile... i'll smile because i know i gave it my all. there are times when we fall off track- i think that's natural.. but the difference is when you recognize it, grab life by the horns and control your situation.. I say all the time and i'll say it again... from the great words of my father, "you are the sum total of all decisions you have made in life..." you don't sit around pouting because of your situation. YOU put yourself there.. YOU are responsible.. AND ONLY YOU... can change it.. so take a big gulp of suck it the @#$^ up and do something about it. I choose to be a product of my choices, not the other way around.

I don't really know what it is- but I feel like a ray of sunshine and energy.

I am so proud of the people in my life as well. Friends are coming out of the wood work to ask you about my father's brewing company.. and I can't help but get all bubbly and giddy inside for him and his best friend for doing just that.. taking life in the hands and pursing a goal in which they have both desired. I am confident that their choices in life have impacted others and help motivate people that may not even know in life. I am in Seattle, Washington and I have had clients in my chair tell ME about my dad's brewery in Kalamazoo, Michigan. my hats off to you daddy.. you have always been my cheer leader in life, always backed me up.. and always grounded me when i got too high... you are my saving grace, and I am forever indebted to your love and support.. you will always have mine...

i can't tell you what the future holds for me.. but i know it's going to be great... and on that note.. i'd like to address my husband...

Danny may very well be the most amazing man I have met in my life... ( i never met my father, i always knew him :) -- ) His love and support, and undying devotion and love centers me... He's encouraging and trusting even when i know he is leery... He is always there to make sure I have an open mind.. and makes me see the other side of the coin in all circumstances.. even when i don't want to hear it. I spend lots of my time day dreaming about him, how we met, moments in our relationship, the excitement, the uncertainty, the exhilaration and the copious amounts of impulse choices we have made together...from getting married in 12 hours.. to moving to a tropical island in which neither of us have ever been to, nor did we know anyone.. there isn't a person on this planet that I would ever want to get lost with, take uncharted adventures... or live out my days with... I'm more blessed then I deserve to be... He is my rock. My focus.. my love... and without him... well- i'd still be me.. and i'd still be independent, focused and driven... but with him..life is a lot less hectic and lonely...

I'm sweaty, smelling, sore, and the 6 mile run i just did with a break at the gym 1/2 way thru -- really makes me want to shower. Cheers for now. -Gilligan.