......

I dont know what it is....

But around the same time everyday i've gotten reallllly depressed..

and it's right about now..

I feel lost and lonely... by myself and almost a slight degree of miserable..

I'll never admit that I want to go back home- but i can't help but feel homesick.

Talking to my family doesn't help either... It's great that they are doing so well, and i get to hear about it...but there is a small, and i mean SMALL part of me that really wishes i could be with them, and near them, and grow up with them...

I know there is nothing for me in Kalamazoo, and if my family moved away, then I have nothing there.. what makes home, home?

If the people leave... then home is where my people move to.... there is nothing left for me there w.o them....

I guess it's part of growing up and moving on with your life..

Lord knows I don't want to be stuck somewhere in a cyclical pattern of day by day life...

I like the excitement of moving, traveling, meeting new people, growing close to new friends, enriching my life as it's an adventure every waking moment...

But with the life of a "nomad" comes it's draw backs...

You leave people behind?

Do we have to leave people behind to move forward? Are they two of the same, and with one you get the other?

As the great Lars says , "just because you're going fwd, doesnt mean i am going backwards".. and " just because you're better than me doesn't mean i'm lazy"

I guess it's just the way of life.. the phrase to have your cake and eat it too really makes sense the older i get...

*sigh* o well. I guess the only thing to do is put that smile on my face and keep ona truckin'...

I. Am. Retarded.

Lynnie and I had our MaryKay venue yesterday.. It was a lot of fun...

We created this great technique! Because I get retarded when I talk to people and she can sell the product, I was the one to sing and dance and get peoples attention (literally!) and when they walked up, she got them interested in the products!! It was a blast!

So- today I get to go thru all my leads and book free make overs / facials... but I CAN'T READ THEIR NAMES!!

garrr!!!

In other news, my husband is getting his scuba cert. this weekend and I will be going to Chelan by myself.... to float the river with the Colbert's woohoo!!

AND maybe Chris will teach my how to wake board!! woohoo!!!

okay- i am running outta things to say!

ta ta!

Comments? Comments?

Feel Free to leave a comment if you read my blog.. that way it will reassure me that there is this VAST AMOUNT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO CARE!

BAH!hahahahaha

Lovin' Yourself 1st!

My father always taught me that in life and relationships with people, you must love yourself 1st before you can love someone else.

Being a Gilligan brings a lot of cockiness to the table as is...

It's not vanity. It's not arrogance. It's love.

I can sit at home all by myself and talk to nothing and make myself laugh at myself.

I truly love me for all my flaws.

I'm not that smart with books an stuff... I don't have much common sense, and it pretty easy for something to FLY over the top of my head... and leave me sitting there going , "Whaaaaaa?????"

But if you can embrace those little aspects about yourself, and laugh along with everyone else at yourself- It's so much more enjoyable.

*Sigh* Chris Colbert is driving to Seattle today an surprising Danny. He'll be staying with us for a few days.. i am really excited, I LOVE CHRIS! .. but the house is a mess..

and I have to clean it..

but instead, the damn social networking site of Facebook consumes my "social-butterfly-ness" and I have now spent 2 hours sitting here.. talking to myself..

I really need to find a hobby...

Workout pants, oh, workout pants, where art thou?

I was all excited to get tape measured to see my progress..

the key to not being let down is to not have any standards...

I was expecting to see massive results.. like when i was 18 an ran for a mile a day for a week and lost two pant sized an my abs reappeared ..

but now, at 24 (not that im over the hill, OR think I am old- i want to clarify so i dont have people bitchy at me and say, "Oooh heaven forbid, you are SOOO OLD.." like many people in my life yell whenever i make comments like this...- but you understand... i am OLDER THEN I WAS ...... YESTERDAY!!!.. GET IT??? so i am not insulting anyone why saying that I have a metabolism that is slowing down..

and on that note.. WHEN I SAY THAT I FEEL I NEED TO GET IN SHAPE... DO NOT ridicule me an reply "oh, well if i had your body! good grief! you look great!"

I'm not saying I am a FAT COW.. i am merely stating a fact that there are some areas in my body that i would like to tone up. IM NOT SAYING YOU ARE A FAT COW, bcuz you have the same issues..

GOODNESS, WITH THE SENSITIVITY!

anywho...

At the ripe old age of 24, i can tell a difference from 18 to now..

I run 3 miles a day (ish- depending on the week) thru out the week i watch what i eat.. and sometimes after the run i hit the gym..

and after a constint 3 weeks of this (longest period in my life)... THERE'S NOT MUCH HAPPENING IN THE " Vee vill have tu lose a 1/2 eench in heeps area"....

so- MORAL of the story- dont ever have standards, for that way, you will never be let down!

hahaha

love you all

-glo

reflection

I hate being alone all day sometimes.

I spend a lot of my time on fb.. thus making me look thru the old photos.. I miss those days so much.. when am i going to feel fulfilled again?

I had so many friends back in the day, and I feel like I have none anymore..

this somber feeling of depression is pissing me off..

when is my life going to take back off again?

I said goodbye to everyone to start another adventure in my life, and here i am... wishing i was stagnant, back in NC with my family there... *sigh*...

i have got to kick this feeling...

"coolness"

I find it amusing the older we get, the more we reflect on out "good old days" and think to ourselves how.. bad ass we used to be...