......

I dont know what it is....

But around the same time everyday i've gotten reallllly depressed..

and it's right about now..

I feel lost and lonely... by myself and almost a slight degree of miserable..

I'll never admit that I want to go back home- but i can't help but feel homesick.

Talking to my family doesn't help either... It's great that they are doing so well, and i get to hear about it...but there is a small, and i mean SMALL part of me that really wishes i could be with them, and near them, and grow up with them...

I know there is nothing for me in Kalamazoo, and if my family moved away, then I have nothing there.. what makes home, home?

If the people leave... then home is where my people move to.... there is nothing left for me there w.o them....

I guess it's part of growing up and moving on with your life..

Lord knows I don't want to be stuck somewhere in a cyclical pattern of day by day life...

I like the excitement of moving, traveling, meeting new people, growing close to new friends, enriching my life as it's an adventure every waking moment...

But with the life of a "nomad" comes it's draw backs...

You leave people behind?

Do we have to leave people behind to move forward? Are they two of the same, and with one you get the other?

As the great Lars says , "just because you're going fwd, doesnt mean i am going backwards".. and " just because you're better than me doesn't mean i'm lazy"

I guess it's just the way of life.. the phrase to have your cake and eat it too really makes sense the older i get...

*sigh* o well. I guess the only thing to do is put that smile on my face and keep ona truckin'...